Week 6 Theme 5

Revise an earlier theme in order to experiment with cutting your prose significantly.

Edited Week 5 Theme 4

Take time to talk to someone you would like to write about in the form of a brief profile.

Cut by a third:

I’m a bit early, so I find Paul in the kitchen. He straightens up from the table, striding with a bit of a penguin’s waddle to his oyster stew. 50 years were catching up. He gives me a taste. “It’s amazing!” “You know what I was thinking?” he says as he strolls to his table. “I’ll put the stew in these bowls and cover ‘em with a puff pastry. How’s that sound?”

“Amazing,” I say, but he’s already on his next dish. Taking a spoonful of hot oil, he pours it over a Chilean sea bass steak. “What do you think?” He asks, handing me a fork. “I heard that’s how the Chinese restaurants do it. Oh, how do you garnish this fish?”

“I’ve always added some salt, scallions, and ginger.” He cuts a stalk, arranges it quickly, and straightens back up, beaming. “How’s that look?” “I guess that looks fine.” I tell him. “Good enough,” he says, as he goes back to poaching bass steaks.

Cut half:

I’m early, so I find Paul in the kitchen. 50 years were catching up, but you couldn’t tell by his food. He straightens up and strides with a penguin’s waddle to his oyster stew. He gives me a taste. “You know what I was thinking?” he says as he strolls to his table. “I’ll put the stew in these bowls and cover ‘em with a puff pastry. How’s that sound?”

“It’s amazing,” I say, but he’s already on the next dish. He pours a spoonful of oil over a poached Chilean sea bass steak. “What do you think?” He asks, handing me a fork. “Oh, how do you garnish this fish?” “I just add scallions and ginger.” He scatters some and straightens up. “Good enough,” he says.