Free theme on a starting sentence.
I hadn’t expected this. Three hours ago, an unconscious rabbit shows up at my back door. I took it inside, not realizing that the rabbit was unconscious because it had taken a fall from the twenty foot cedar tree in my yard. Do rabbits climb trees? Apparently they do when they’re being chased by bears. As it turns out, this rabbit was being chased by a bear, because I found the bear in the kitchen after a short trip to the bathroom.
How does one deal with an ursine dinner guest eating your other guest? Clearly not the way I did, or I wouldn’t be here now. Leaving quickly and hoping the bear would stay on its food, I fetched my shotgun from the closet in the bedroom.
Of course, bears tend to be more tickled than actually stopped by shotguns. I’m sure my neighbors appreciated the show, me fishtailing my car down a residential street trying to shake off a bear hanging tooth and nail off the trunk. Naturally, the bear returned to his rabbit meal afterwards, and this time he didn’t hesitate to chase my fishtailing car down the street again, again hanging off the rear end for dear life.
Perhaps the second incident was enough dissuasion – it didn’t return after that. Finally, I got some peace. But I hadn’t expected this. I made the news, and now PETA’s protesting on my lawn. I liked the bear more.
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